I don't know about you, but I had a crazy weekend. See, outside of writing for his wonderful site, I work for a company that occasionally has to respond to things like offshore explosions and large-scale epidemics. Don't be confused. I personally contribute very little to the overall health and safety of the human race. But every now and then my life takes a wacky side road though "oh shit" town.
I said that to say this. I, Matt Monte, didn't get to watch a single down of college football this Saturday. Weep for me if you must, but I'm told that there is now great joy in the state of Mississippi, and I can only assume that this means that end times are nigh. It was nice knowing you all.
Until that asteroid finds it's way to Tupelo, the show must go on. Since I didn't get to watch any of the games, I'm relying on the rest of our writers to have put these teams in the right order. I'm also just going to base my synopsys of each game off the box score. You're probably thinking, "why not just base it off the recaps your writers did?" To that I say, never pass on an opportunity to piss off people who skip ahead in the article and only read about their team.
1 Georgia Southern Eagles 4-2 (3-0)
After missing the entire first quarter due to a long line at the Las Cruces Whataburger, the Eagles fell behind 14-0 to New Mexico State. Georgia Southern then proceeded to score 29 unanswered points using a combination of long runs and field goals, because the Eagles have been playing Rugby all this time and nobody has realized it yet. You would think the shorts would be a giveaway, but they don't get a lot of TV coverage. Read the full game recap here.
2 Arkansas State Red Wolves 3-2 (1-0)
See, this is a football game. Completely ignore the first half. Get warmed up with 14 points in the third quarter. Then bench the defenses and replace them Comcast technical support workers for the entire fourth quarter. It won't be easy getting the blood stains out of the turf, but at least the entire town of Jonesboro gets free HBO now. Read the full game recap here.
3 South Alabama Jaguars 3-2 (2-1)
When you're fighting an uphill battle as the highest ranked team with a conference loss, winning games by 26 points comes in handy. You know what else comes in handy? A bye week to prepare for Georgia State and Troy. Not in consecutive weeks though. The Jags have to play them at the same time. Hey, I don't make the rules. Read the full game recap here.
4 Texas State Bobcats 3-2 (1-0)
Last week I said I never could remember that Texas State was in the Sun Belt. I don't think I would have had a problem remembering them if Idaho would have come from behind and won this game. You're in the upper crust of the conference, Bobcats. I suggest you incorporate that into your second half defense. Read the full game recap here.
5 Louisiana Ragin Cajuns 2-3 (1-0)
This game was a lot closer than I personally expected, so its somewhat surprising that the Cajuns would jump ULM in this week's power rankings. Its almost as if they had some outside help or something. Read the full game recap here.
6 ULM Warhawks 3-2 (2-1)
ULM is officially worse than Idaho in the rushing department. This is a problem, because despite winning the turnover battle and being within 7 late, you won't win much if you can't move it on the ground. View the game recap here.
7 New Mexico State Aggies 3-3 (1-1)
The Aggies kept it within a score of the conference's best, and that is saying something. Despite the loss, New Mexico State seems to be improving. That could spell danger for their opponents down the stretch. Look for the Aggies to ruin a few upcoming weekends. Read the full game recap here.
8 Appalachian St. Mountaineers 1-4 (0-2)
The Mountaineers fell one spot this week, and deservedly so. The closest they came to stopping South Alabama was the speed trap on Highway 421. Through the first three quarters, the Jags had more missed field goals than punts. Read the full game recap here.
9 Georgia State Panthers 1-4 (0-2)
GSU gave the Cajuns a game this week, even leading at the half. This is the Panthers' second conference game, and second fourth quarter loss. I don't know what that says about this team, but I do know that those are the losses that hurt the worst when you go 1-7 in conference. Read the full game recap here.
10 Idaho Vandals 0-5 (0-3)
Its a shame to have the Vandals so low after a pretty strong showing in San Marcos. Paul Petrino is now 1-16. It'll be hard to get a ‘W' this week against Georgia Southern, but Idaho needs to figure something out quick before the Kibbie Dome fully caves in. Read the full game recap here.
11 Troy Trojans 0-5 (0-1)
During the bye week, Larry Blakeney announced he will retire at season's end, and Troy's athletic director promptly gave him the title of Special Assistant to the AD. What the hell is that even? I think after a quarter century the dude at least earned "Something Something Emeritus." Special assistant is the title Jerry Jones reserves for his scrotum polisher. Troy, you've officially lost the bye week.