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Conference USA released a keyboard with new team emojis. They're... well... they're a thing.

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They're many things, but "great" is not one of them. So we tried to fix that.

Michael Chang/Getty Images

So Conference USA released keyboard with new team-specific emojis just in time for the men's basketball tournament. Of course, these should come in handy not just now, but for football season as well. As long as...

Oh lord.

NO, just no. We've got the Louisiana Tech Bulldog who is in the midst of taking a dump on someone's lawn.

We've got the Rice Owl who appears to be getting mugged at gunpoint... or perhaps at axe-point by that super angry UTEP Miner.

The UTSA Roadrunner appears to be yelling at someone's kids to get off his lawn, and the rest are doing some variation of "creeper coming in for a hug."

This just wouldn't do. Fortunately for us, resident Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders superfan DJ Bowers took things into his own hands, and we helped him turn these freakazoids into a pretty darn clever story. We'll just let the tweets speak for themselves.

But... uh oh, wait a second...

No sweat, we'll just fix that and add a little post script to --

Sorry FAU, who looks like mom trying to swoop in and break up the party. We'll work on this for next time, I guess.