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Paul Wall is Presenting A Grill To Tom Herman: An Analysis

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This is a cause for National celebration. I can't feel my face.

Bob Levey/Getty Images

For a moment, I couldn't breathe when I first heard about this news. I then took to Twitter (because who really gets news from anywhere else?) to hear more about it.

Bah gawd...

It's real.

Grammy nominee artist Paul Wall is a man of his word. The media was invited to attend the fitting ceremony in Houston, and I've never wanted to be in Houston more. Herman is getting presented with a grill by a person who made them famous.

This is really the greatest news of all time.

If you don't know Paul Wall, allow me to enlighten you. He's the greatest rapper of All-Time, from Houston, that wears a grill, thats rapped with Mike Jones, probably. He's constantly been Tippin' on 44s and Sittin' Sideways since the early 2000s.

He explained the essence of the grill renaissance to us so eloquently.

"We're still trying to figure out ways to put diamonds on the braces but, as of right now, we haven't really found a way so the braces are still effective and on par hygienically ... We definitely don't want to bump heads with the [American] Dental Association."

Et tu, Paul? (He did, quickly, figure that out by the way)

This is what happens when you get to the big time world of College Football. I recently wrote about Tom Herman getting paid here. This is clearly the first result of getting that big time college football money. Like Herman, Paul understands what it's like to have millions of dollars.

He understands what it's like to be at the top of your craft.

He understands that it's vastly important to illustrate how much money you have, by not putting diamonds on your wrist or neck, but in your freaking mouth.

He understands that the disco ball in the coach's mouth would insinuate that he's ballin'.

It's a nice gesture by Paul to present him with his first grill then explain the importance of it. Like when a karate kid can finally catch a pebble from his master's hand. Or a bird can't figure out how to fly and falls 40 feet from a tree, whatever works.

All thats left now is for Tom Herman to actually wear this beautiful diamond mold in the upcoming New Years Six game against Florida State. It's the least he can do. Really.

Basically what's happening is some next level thinking here by Paul Wall, anyway. Allow me to explain.

What's gonna happen when Jimbo Fisher is staring down Herman, leaving him blinded by the beautiful diamonds in his mouth and unable to coach?  What's gonna happen when Dalvin Cook breaks off his first big run by then is distracted by the beautiful ice in Tom Herman's mouth? Paul Wall is all about the #HTownTakeover and is undoubtedly a big Houston Cougar football fan. Way to think out of box, Paul.