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Powerless Five: Giving Thanks Your Team Ain’t These Teams

Not all Power Five teams are created equal, but these five really got the short end of the stick. They put the Grim in Pilgrim. You get the idea.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: AUG 31 Howard at Maryland Photo by Tony Quinn/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

A week ago we proclaimed that the worst Power Five teams of the season appeared to be locked in. This week, we are pleased to say that is not the case.

Wouldn’t you know it, Georgia Tech had to go and shock the world, beating NC State 28-26. But they’re not out of the woods yet, with one week still to go.

We also wanted to add the Duke basketball team, but I’m told we only cover football. So here are the worst Power Five teams from last weekend, or more specifically, those teams playing at or below (mostly the latter) the Group of Five level.

5. Maryland Terrapins

It’s a wonder any “worst of” list doesn’t include the Terrapins (3-8, 1-7), currently one game ahead of Rutgers for last place in the Big Ten East. And they avoided this list for a number of weeks too, mostly off having beaten ranked Syracuse back in week two. Simpler times.

Since then, the Terps have lost eight of nine, their lone win in that span coming against Rutgers on October 5th. One could argue they’re still suffering growing pains, moving from the ACC to the Big Ten, but we’d like to point out Utah moved from the Mountain West to the Pac-12, and is currently ranked #6 in the nation. No dice, Maryland.

4. Northwestern Wildcats

The Wildcats actually did okay this week, only losing to Minnesota 38-22. Unfortunately, it’s looking likely that Northwestern’s last win of the season was the previous week against FBS Independent UMass.

Next week, Northwestern will finish up their season against Illinois. Cover the spread, and we’ll see about moving you off the list, but we’re not holding our breath.

3. Vanderbilt Commodores

Sharp-eyed readers will notice that Vanderbilt won this week. While that is indeed true, that win came at the expense of FCS East Tennessee State, for which no Power Five team should win any additional FBS respectability.

We love our FCS teams here at UDD, but even they would admit that beating one hardly puts you in contention for the FBS Playoff. Better luck next week, Commodores, against another team from Tennessee— you’ll do fine, we hear they consist entirely of Volunteers.

2. Arkansas Razorbacks

Last week’s number one, the Razorbacks move up the tiniest bit this week by ringing up 20 in their 56-20 loss to the actual number one team in the CFP. Could your local Group of Five team do that?

Well, maybe, depending on where you live, but we’ll give the Razorbacks partial credit for the effort. This weekend they’ll mercifully wrap up their season by hosting Missouri, and then can finally get to the offseason where they can focus on finding a new coach, and also have time to stew, pig.

1. Rutgers Scarlet Knights

Not so much with the effort, Rutgers was blanked last week 27-0 by Michigan State in New Jersey. Power Five teams everywhere are scheduling buy-in games against the FCS, the MAC, and the Rutgers Scarlet Knights. Things are so bad this squad is looking to rehire Greg Schiano. It’s dire, is what we’re saying.

This squad’s only two wins all season were against FBS independents, and no, neither of those was Notre Dame. Don’t get us wrong, we’re rooting for this team to get out of the bottom spot, some day— but this weekend sees them traveling to Penn State, so, it won’t be in 2019.