Bottom (Power) 5: Baylor Bottoms Out

Week Two is in the books and we have a new #1 team who really likes being on this list. The Baylor Bears, led by new head coach Matt Rhule, have gotten their paws stuck in the Honey-“Suck”-le Pot and don’t seem too eager to get it out.

Meanwhile, in the theme of bottoming out, the bottom of all the P5 conferences continue to diminish the “Power” of the Power 5 and the coasts threaten the very fiber of the P5 bowl domination.

With a new week comes new jokes and some inspirational words for some of the biggest jokes in the P5. With apologies to the Power 5 (not really) and Ryan McGee, here’s this weeks list!

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1. Baylor Beers

Topping the list this week are the Baylor Bears, or should I say Beers? Coming off an embarrassing loss to Liberty, 48-45 at home, Baylor looked to rebound in week two against in-state G5 opponent UTSA.

UTSA was coming into their first game of the season after Hurricane Harvey wiped out their scheduled game against Houston which bade well for the Bears.

But then...it didn’t.

Baylor laid an EGG in Matt Rhule’s second game and lost 17-10, prompting fans to grab some beers and rename their favorite team. If Rhule’s facial expression from the picture above is any indication of what fans are thinking, they must still be hungover.

A road game against Harvard of the South, Duke, awaits the Beers this week.

A word of advice, stay out of downtown Waco Saturday.

2. Bottom P5 conference teams

A new year always brings a new sense of optimism for teams that struggled the previous season. More experience, new recruits, new coaches all add to the excitement and the hope that this may be the year that your team gets out of the bottom of the conference.

Unfortunately, for some teams, that optimism always leads to disappointment.

*Cue Kansas and Rutgers

Both Kansas and Rutgers laid an egg against the directional MAC schools (Central and Eastern), losing by a lot (KU) and a little (lookin at you RU). Kansas continued their irrelevance while Eastern Michigan snapped an 0-for-58 losing streak against P5 opponents in what is their biggest win ever.

Photo by Rich Schultz/Getty Images

Meanwhile the bottom of the Pac-12 (OSU, Arizona State and Arizona) did no favors to their conference by getting blasted at home to Minnesota, and losing to G5 opponents, also at home. Sure, all of the teams they faced are good but no team really did anything to inspire any confidence within the fan base.

3. Oregon State

Simply put, Oregon State stinks. Like, really bad. It’s getting worse due to the wildfires out there burning up all that stank.

Perhaps the most putrid is OSU’s defense.

After two games they are 115th in total defense, giving up 6.31 yards per play and 18 TDs. If not for a Luton TD pass in the game against FCS Portland State, OSU would be 0-3 thanks to their defense.

That’s not to let their offense off the hook. Three interceptions against Colorado State helped widen the gap in their loss in Fort Collins and there really hasn’t been much of anything as far as explosiveness that I’ve seen.

It might be a long year for Gary Andersen. I bet he wishes he didn’t leave Wisconsin...

4. Wildfires and Poor Air Quality

Speaking of Oregon, there are some massive wildfires burning that is effecting football throughout the region. The Oregon Ducks had to move practice out of Eugene last week and the airport there was shut down.

The wildfires have been so bad that the Air Quality was labelled as “Hazardous”, threatening to delay or cancel Minnesota’s 48-14 beat-down of Oregon State in Corvallis. The game went on as scheduled, but I would be willing to bet that if it had been cancelled, it would be the first game ever to be stopped due to the air.

Still, thats pretty crazy. And speaking of natural disasters....

5. Hurricane Cancellations

This one isn’t really serious but is just listed because it sucks. How often do two huge hurricanes come through back to back? Especially during the college football season when we don’t have much football to begin with...what terrible luck!

We ran a story yesterday in our ATDP series that explained how that effects bowl eligibility and conference titles and the like, but dang, as much as I hate to say it, it really sucks that so many games got cancelled.

As a person, I understand and agree but as a football fan, it’s such a long wait for football season just to have games get cancelled and not rescheduled.

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So there you have it, another addition of the Bottom (Power) 5. We’ll keep on bringing this list to you as long as there are pitiful performances by the “big boys.” Let us know if we missed anything and what you think in the comments!