If you're over the age of 30 you might have missed the news of the recently released mobile application Pokemon Go rocketing to the top of the Google Play and iTunes stores.
A spin off of the globally beloved video game series Pokemon, Pokemon Go is an augmented reality application that allows users to hunt and capture virtual pokemon of their own in their own neighborhoods. The application even turns local landmarks into "Pokestops" that provide players with coveted resources.
Not only is the app a ton of fun, it also incentives gamers to get up off the couch as they're unable to progress in the game without physically walking around to discover new locations and pokemon.
While my Austin, Texas neighborhood is filled with hipster pokemon like Butterfree and Abra, this tweet got me pondering which pokemon were most likely to be found loitering around the quads of Conference USA university campuses...
UAB - Rayquaza
This one's easy. Rayquaza matches up with the Blazers' dragon mascot and even fits the school's color swatch.
FAU - Seaking
Per the Pokedex, Seaking can be found "in the autumn spawning season [...] swimming powerfully up rivers and creeks" much like how we watched the Owls take it to Florida after Gators head coach Jim McElwain essentially described FAU's roster as a bunch of UF rejects.
FIU - Magikarp
I'm pretty sure FIU fans already hate me for my constant criticism of their football program (fair!) so I can take the home run shot and assign Magikarp to FIU. For those that haven't played any pokemon games, Magikarp is a hapless water type that seems to flail around aimlessly 99% of the time. The pokedex seems to know of the legacy of T.Y. Hilton, proclaiming that "In the distant past, [Magikarp] was once somewhat stronger than the horribly weak descendants that exist today".
LA Tech - Granbull
The Bulldogs are well represented by Granbull. While the fairy-type pokemon doesn't look like much at first glance, its heavy fangs generate a powerful attack when provoked by way of its quick feet. Sounds a lot like Kenneth Dixon, no?
Marshall - Tauros
The Thundering Herd line up nicely with Tauros' description. This wild bull type is known for whipping itself into a frenzy before running straight over its foes, much like Devon Johnson's run of terror through Conference USA in 2014.
MTSU - Keldeo
MTSU's Blue Raider mascot is a blue, muscular steed but Keldeo is as close as we can get. While Keldeo is lacking in intimidation factor it boasts unmatched speed that allows it to run across oceans and rivers.
Charlotte - Probopass
The second miner mascot in CUSA, Norm the Niner is clearly superior over UTEP's miner mascot thanks to the east coast variant's full beard. Probopass is a rock type pokemon that also sports facial hair for some unknown reason.
UNT - Turtwig
UNT's Apogee stadium is the only LEEDS certified football stadium in America so they need an environmentally friendly pokemon to call their own. Turtwig is made completely out of renewable sources and uses photosynthesis to make oxygen while nurturing itself.
ODU - Beautifly
Beautifly looks sweet and unassuming at first glance but will shock you with its strength and aggression. Sound familiar?
Rice - Alakazam
Despite incredibly demanding admission standards Rice continues to compete at a high level in Conference USA, much like Alakazam who will beat your ass with two spoons and psychic abilities.
USM - Zapados
The Golden Eagles get one of their own to claim. Since USM is a conference power house and charter member, it makes sense that they have one of the original 150 pokemon, and a legendary one at that, to call their own.
UTEP - Geodude
The landscape surrounding UTEP's campus is breath-taking so long as divert your eyes from the south to avoid catching a glimpse of Juarez across the border. It's easy to image a bunch of Geodudes burrowing through the hills and mountains surrounding UTEP's campus.
UTSA - Ludicolo
Ludicolo seems to be wearing a sombrero and begins dancing as soon as he hears "cheerful, festive music", much like a UTSA fan when "Bidi, Bidi, Bom, Bom" comes on the radio at the tailgate.
WKU - Lickilicky
When I first started writing this I knew that WKU had to be PERFECT. While Lickilicky isn't quite red so much as a dark pink, his personality is right in line with that of Big Red. According to the Pokedex, Lickilicky "wraps things with its extensible tongue. Getting too close to it will leave you soaked with droll".