We like to scour the internet for inspiration occasionally, and this week, an article from our friends over at Hustle Belt tried to create neutral site games for every single MAC squad. We liked the idea so much, that not only are we making it a series, we're taking things overboard and just making the matchups that we want to see, but will never happen.
Without further ado, the games!
UCF vs. USF at Daytona International Speedway
Oh man, imagine the possibilities for this one. 0-12 UCF and an emerging USF squad under Willie Taggert assembling in the grassy part of the Daytona Tri-Oval in front of the brand new Daytona Rising Grandstand (which expanded the number of seats to over 100,000.) It's a marketing #WIN. "THE BATTLE OF I-4! GOLDEN KNIGHTS VS. ROARING BULLS! (Do bulls roar? Idk, man.) WHICH FANBASE WILL CARE LESS? TUNE IN THANKSGIVING DAY AND FIND OUT!"
Cincinnati vs. Louisville in Detroit's abandoned industrial center
From Cincinnati's Wikipedia page:
Cincinnati and the University of Louisville battle for the Keg of Nails annually. This rivalry dates back to 1929. As of 2009, there are no nails in the Keg of Nails, nor does anyone know if there ever were any in the first place.
Well, let's put 'em right back in there (if there ever were any in the first place), shall we? The loser has to walk around and pull out every spare nail they can in the abandoned industrial lot until the keg is full, while the winners go to the Motor City Casino.
UConn vs. Rutgers in an outlet mall
I mean, heck, there's so many malls between Connecticut, New Jersey, and New York (s/o to the SIXTH BOROUGH) that finding a location won't be hard at all! Catch some Division I football while taking your little sister to Hot Topic or grabbing a corn dog in the food court. Just please, look out for errant passes. You don't want to have to admit to Mom that you were in Spencer's looking at drug paraphernalia when you got injured.
ECU vs. Tulane in the middle of a swamp
You want sloppy field with marsh-like weather conditions? Why not play in an actual marsh!? Sure the footing won't be as steady as usual, and players could have a hard time moving once they get the ball, but still, football is football. Please pass the gumbo, and OH MY GOD THAT GATOR GOT THE SACK. Third day draft pick, at least.
Houston vs. UTSA at The Alamo
There is no greater thing than football in Texas, except for maybe The Alamo, the grand bastion of the Republic of Texas, and its most memorable battle site. Why not salute the losses of Davey Crockett and Jim Bowie with a rousin' game of football that wasn't even a thing when they died? It's the Texan way.
Memphis vs. anyone in a dark, narrow alley, preferably behind a BBQ joint
If there is one thing that Memphis doesn't suffer, it is most certainly a fool. The team that is foolish enough to cross their path on the busy streets of Memphis surely won't enjoy what's going to happen to them. The good thing is, that no one will be there to witness it, on account of being in a dark alley. Oh, and the ribs. Mmmmm.
Navy vs. Air Force and/or Army on an aircraft carrier
This one explains itself, really.
SMU vs. Texas Tech at American Airlines Arena in Dallas
Yes, it's not a football field. No, this isn't a basketball matchup. Yes, I want to play football here. Arena football. Just think about it you guys. So many touchdowns. Who needs defense, anyways? Wait, where are you going? Come back.
Temple vs. Rice in a barn
*promo voice* YOU JUST CAN'T CONTAIN THE ACTION, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY! STIFLING DEFENSES! COLLEGE FOOTBALL OFFENSES! IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE OWLS... IN A BARN! (Sponsored by the Mennonite Builder's Association.)
Tulsa vs. Oklahoma State in a cornfield during an F5 twister
Offense! Points! Property destruction! Irony!