The good thing about being called a high schooler, as happened in the first entry of this series, is that there's nowhere to go but up.
And Lord did we soar high in weak two. Just look at this.
I get it. No, I don't think you're a high school reporter. You have 2 degrees from where?
If I found the sad face emoji game, the weak two post's comments turned my frown into a Crest-worthy white smile. Like such: :). It is proof, at long last, that the online community of a website like Underdog Dynasty is really just like a football team: there may be dust-ups and harsh insults may be so lightly thrown, but in the end we function as one and can overcome any obstacle.
(The real message, of course, is that it seems like my cherished readers heard last weak's plea in commenting four times, twice as much as the weak before.)
As I turn to weak three now, I draw inspiration from a timeless saying: that sometimes one needs not look beyond their own nose for fear that one may miss the true beauty in one's life.
You'll say that plastic surgery has almost rendered this obsolete, which, sure, but in college football parlance the nose happens to be the best game of any given weak. And in weak two, the Oregon Ducks played #goodfootball (against the Michigan State Spartans, but whatever about them.)
For weak three? The nose gives the tiny guy a chance.
Runner-up Game: Troy Trojans At Wisconsin Badgers
The Trojans have probably thanked Little Jesus in the heavens many, many times over for the fact that the cyborg known as Melvin Gordon has left Madison and is now a member of the San Diego Chargers' backfield in the NFL. It's only been two games, but so far in 2015 the Badgers can move the ball through the air, instead of on the ground, behind the golden arm of one Joel Stave.
Is that good news, you ask? It is not. In losing to the Power Five's most average team in NC State and then beating FCS Charleston Southern, Troy has allowed the length of over five total football fields on the ground.
If Troy has done so well against the pass in 2015, ranking 34th in the FBS, it's not because they're good against the pass. It's because you, dear reader, could run for 100 yards against the Trojans. Yes, you.
Weakest Of The Week: Georgia State At Oregon Ducks
If you squint very, very hard, you'll see a shape emerge afar. That thing is called hope.
Georgia State D is one of the worst in the country, allowing 468.5 ypg. However, that's better than Oregon which allows 469 ypg.— John Curry (@blazerscam4) September 18, 2015
There's this, too.
Stat of the day: Georgia State ranks 106th in the FBS in total defense (468.5 yards per game), one spot ahead of Oregon (107th, 469.0 ypg).— Ryan Thorburn (@rgduckfootball) September 17, 2015
Welp, that's the exact same thing. There's no hope this weak, there is only the doormat of the Sun Belt Conference. But there will be no #FunBelt to be had for Georgia State, only a rather massive game check of $900,000. Cool--even if, you know, not cool.
Georgia State plays Oregon— jake grabher (@THE_GrabHerjake) September 18, 2015
The Ducks are perennial contenders and winners and, if they might be somewhat diminished this year, they are overwhelming favorites against the team who went 0-8 in Sun Belt play in 2014. The spread for this game is set as GSU+44: if this were a, say, 200-meter race, the Ducks would lap the Panthers before finishing. Yes, Oregon and (probably) Vernon Adams would lap Georgia State in a race that lasts only half of a lap.
That's the joke.
But see, to those who say that you can't win for losing, I answer the following:
I see Oregon is beefing up their sked this week with Georgia State. Tough one Ducks!— Alan W. (@AlDogg44) September 18, 2015
If Oregon is really losing for winning, then who's the real winner? And they get paid to lose-win. GO PANTHERS! #PANTHERFAMILY