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Underdog Dynasty Biggest Loser First Month

Everybody tried their best, but a variety of circumstances created a variety of results.

Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

Let's just get right to it. How'd all us bastards do, one month in?

Nicolas Lewis, Site Manager

Starting weight: 220

Current weight: 213

Percentage of weight lost: 3.18%

niknik

It's amazing what funeral-related stress can do to your body - as you notice I dropped three pounds, and that was all in the final week of the month after I got back from all of that nonsense. So I guess I need to attend more funerals?

Jared, Guy Who Needs To Clean His Mirror

Starting weight: 253

Current weight: 249

Percentage of weight lost: 1.58%

jk

Got all the way down to 247 but rose back up to 249 (dammit!). Nothing to get too excited about but the weight is going down. Need to stick to the workouts and drink less freaking sweet tea.

Chris Hondros, Hired Greek Gun

Starting weight: 225

Current weight: 222

Percentage of weight lost: 1.33%

cho

Well THAT was an interesting month...try losing weight while spending 2 weeks on a cruise ship, then four days after that at a conference and finally the rest of that time at grandma's house. I somehow managed to lose SOMETHING and I consider that a win. Now to stay focused and work harder while I move to a new place and start a new job.

Matt Monte, Guy Who Pretends To Care

Starting weight: 303

Current weight: 295

Percentage of weight lost: 2.64%

mattmatt

I started off strong with about 6 pounds in the first two weeks, then life got involved. Turns out its hard to lose weight when you attend events with free food and drinks. I have started exercising more though, so hopefully that influences the results for the next weigh in.

Contestant X, The (White And Yet) Dark Horse

Starting weight: 349

Current weight: UNKNOWN

Percentage of weight lost: UNKNOWN

As of the mid-month updates, CX had posted a nine pound weight loss, and with just three more pounds would have snatched the first month title from me. Instead, he missed the weigh-in deadline and therefore gets pooled in with the rest of the losers. Non-winners. Whatever.

Technically, since the deadline was the 31st and Matt and Chris didn't send me info until the following morning, everybody but myself and Jared was disqualified from winning this month. Thanks, everybody!

First month winner: ME! I will reward myself with something awesome and then rub it in.

First month losers, everybody else. Please send me your money, you heathens.