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Five Reasons Why Georgia Southern's #TinyMansions Completely Suck

Let's stop pretending these things are actually cool.

Georgia Southern recently announced "the best in tailgating entertainment" aka their "tiny mansions". Because Georgia Southern is en vogue right now, this "innovation" was lauded with curiosity and baited praise.

However, I'm going to speak for the silent majority here and speak my thoughts on these.


Besides not even being aware enough to take the Michigan logos off the promotional image, these "please give us money" over-sized dollhouses are rather awful. And here's why.

1. No Matter What, It's Not Tailgating

No amount of booze can make it look good. At the end of the day next to the pickup trucks and tents and tables, a mini-sized victorian-style house looks tacky. It looks like something a very-spoiled girl would get for her Super Sweet 16 in the backyard so she'll leave the parents alone. Yes it'll have A/C, but you decided to be in South Georgia anyway, so no excuses.

2. It's Lazy For The Sake Of Being Lazy

Part of the fun of tailgating is setting up and taking down the tents, putting up the tables, connecting the grill/pot/smoker, coordinating with the wives who'll bake what and making sure all the stragglers don't buy the same brand of chips.

With these over-sized doll houses, you just show up and it's there. All the booze, the A/C and probably some guy from the company asking if everything is to your liking. At that point, you might as well slip him a $100 and ask him to be your man-servant for the day.

3. They're Right Next To The Visitors Locker Room

The "Tiny Mansions", supplied by Learfield Sports, will have fully-stocked wet bars in a victorian-type mini house set up in front of the Bishop Field House. This is where visiting teams dress and park their equipment bus.

The company might as well provide cardboard frisbees for the revelers to throw at the visitors, considering Georgia Southern is just fine with their students doing it

4. Who's Gonna Rent One Of These?

Georgia Southern is famous for being poor and fiercely proud of being poor. Evil Emperor Erk Rusell had a quote about not having money to cheat.

The price-tag for this oversized doll-house is $5,000 a game. For a fanbase that still has season tickets from $75 to $145 (and that's after they went up recently), an extra five grand is quite the sum of money.

5. Renting One Will Label You As That Person

You'll be standing in front of your over-sized dollhouse with your rum and coke in hand, business casual attire (khaki shorts and boat shoes) looking at everyone else properly tailgating and they're going to snicker. You spent five grand for a giant "kick me" sign and everyone else spent maybe 1/10th of that to have just as much fun.