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Some People Just Don't Understand UAB Blazer Football

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A certain columnist would do well to pull his feet out of his mouth and stop repeating himself.

Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports

Oh how I love it when people, especially columnists, feel that burning urge to say something edgy and clever in order to get folks reading and riled up.

I refer, of course, to AL.com's own Roy S. Johnson, who is beginning to make his mark as a new-to-Birmingham outsider who pretty clearly does not get it and does not care to change. Case in point, Johnson begins by talking about the recent developments in fundraising thanks to a tweak in the donation form that allows sponsors to adjust their donation in connection with the return (or lack thereof) of football. He of course does so with class:

So now is everyone happy?


I certainly hope so.

Yes, because I can't believe that supporters had the nerve to want their donations back if their entire reason for donating never came to fruition. What a bunch of whiny babies. But then... sigh...

There's almost no chance UAB would return at any level other than FBS, even though there is actually zero chance the team would ever compete for a national title at that level. Ever.

Yes. Obviously, because UAB has never competed for a national title, they therefore never will. Not only that, but because they will never compete for a spot in the College Football Playoff, they shouldn't even bother resuming competition at that level.

I read this late last night, so in my horror at this nonsense, I couldn't help but ask Chris and Matt what they thought about it. They at least had a good sense of humor about it.

Matt: Welp. If you've never won a title you may as well pack it up, I'll let Mississippi State know. Chris, you wanna call Oregon?

Chris: *sigh* yeah, i gotta make a trip up there anyway

Matt: Phil Knight's not gonna take it well.

Nick: BUT I WAS JUST FIVE MORE UNI COMBOS AWAY FROM A TITLE BRUH.

Matt: I love that, because a program is new or doesn't currently exist, means they will never win anything ever. Like all the championship teams have existed since the beginning of time.

Chris: NOT CHURDISHONAL. THEY HAVE. DIDN'T YOU KNOW ABOUT PRINCETON?!

Matt: And God said 'Let there be Bammers' and they claimed three national titles already.

Anyways, I was a little bit surprised by Johnson's column, until I scrolled a few months back in his archive. Turns out he already wrote this same damn column around the time of the NCAA Tournament:

I haven't seen a college community become as outraged since I was in college and the issue was apartheid, or more specifically, Stanford's investments in South Africa.

ApartheidNelson Mandela.

This is football. Okay, football.

Yes indeed, he started off strong by comparing UAB to 1970's Stanford and referencing apartheid in the process. But do go on...

Who knows what the "numbers" really show regarding the potential cost of retaining football. Carr report, schmar report. You can massage numbers more ways than a high-end masseuse, making them say anything you want them to say.

You certainly can make numbers say whatever you want. Or conversely, you could make the minimal effort necessary to just find the numbers, show them, and let your readers figure it out themselves. But ignoring the numbers entirely makes it much easier to form an opinion.

UAB will never create the kind of moment in football that Jerod Hasse and his Blazers created... when they donned the Cinderella slipper[.]

As the #FreeUAB movement emerged and grew, the downright outright outrage of the elimination of football swelled, and a "committee" was formed to re-juggle the numbers and make a "recommendation", my thoughts where a) football will never return to UAB, no matter what the new committee learns (if it can ever find a company that will actually take on the project); and b) if it did UAB football should return at the FCS level...

Because UAB football would never compete for anything more than a minor bowl as an FBS member. Forget the playoffs. Forget even the top 25.

There it is. So remember Johnson is new to Birmingham, which means he likely doesn't know the history. Yet he had already concluded that football wouldn't return. Except that it might, and if it did it should go FCS because championships.

We get it, Roy. You think UAB should sacrifice millions of dollars of revenue so that they can compete for FCS titles. You can stop writing about it now.