MOSCOW, ID - In a seemingly shocking turn of events, the University of Idaho announced today that it will end their football program in the near future.
In some stunning quotes said by students:
"I mean, the football stadium is clearly too small for our new horse racing facility, so next best thing I can figure is a dog track."
"Cows are just nature's lawn mowers."
Local Faculty Senate weighed in more about the move: "The large hanger will most likely be commandeered by the state to provide climate controlled grazing land for local cattle. The permafrost just seems to cut up their mouths" said Idaho Ag Professor, Jean Pomme de Terre. "they end up getting infected, which leads to a lot of lonely nights for local farmers."
The infection, known as Compsoapatelos carnalterra, has been known to affect farmers and other unsuspecting people who live in the rural areas. Part of the University of Idaho's research is studying on how this disease works and spreads.
The cost to renovate the facility has expected to be split between the state and local governments, with proceeds from naming rights for the facility expected to contribute. "We originally didn't plan to name the converted facility, but we got a lot of interest from FarmersOnly.com and Oberto Beef Jerky."
With Vandals players and coaches now looking to transfer and go elsewhere, Boise State has released its own statement: "We will not be accepting any transfers from the school up north, they'll just have to go elsewhere."
Keep reading Underdog Dynasty as we continue to monitor the urgent situation that the Vandals now find themselves in.