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Red Wolves Gingerbread House Contest is a Beautiful Yuletide Horror of Architecture!

This weekend, we learned that the artistry of the Red Wolves Monster Defense is best conducted on the gridiron.

Arkansas State cornerbacks coach Trooper Taylor hosted a Gingerbread House Party and it was fantastic
Arkansas State cornerbacks coach Trooper Taylor hosted a Gingerbread House Party and it was fantastic
Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

Details are a little sketchy, but it appears that Arkansas State cornerbacks coach Trooper Taylor hosted some kind of gingerbread house-making party over the weekend, and the results are exactly what you'd expect from 18 to 20-year-old men: a beautiful disaster!

Everything started out pleasant enough.

Entry One is a solid effort. Excellent use of Christmas-themed Kit-Kat bars as shrubbery! You can tell it was constructed by more practiced hands.

The next three entries are a bit of a mess. Entry Two is the only entry that features a basketball court. And where Entry Three lacks in structural integrity, it makes up for in frosting swirls. We would do well to remember that these guys are student-athletes, not seasoned Christmas architects.

Overall, not bad efforts from a squad more adept at "taking it to the house" than building a house. So let's check in on Entry Fi–OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS MONSTROSITY?

Perhaps to make up for Entry Five's gruesome shortcomings, Entry Six is a bit more ambitious and seems to include some kind of encrypted message on the roof. (Uncrackable to even the mightiest Underdog cryptologists.)

A great deal of personalization went into Entry Seven. "KB" might be freshman defensive back Kellen Blanchett, who appears to have built a damn fine lean-to over an actual house.

The winner, which we can assume was only challenged by Entry Seven, was ultimately Entry One, constructed by sophomore defensive back and punt returner Blaise Taylor.

Well done, Blaise. What the Red Wolves gained in dynamic punt returns and lockdown defensive play, the world lost in culinary artistry. As for the rest of the entries, may they all be completely consumed! (By fire.)