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Details are a little sketchy, but it appears that Arkansas State cornerbacks coach Trooper Taylor hosted some kind of gingerbread house-making party over the weekend, and the results are exactly what you'd expect from 18 to 20-year-old men: a beautiful disaster!
Everything started out pleasant enough.
Blood makes you Kin love trust respect andTradition make u Family #building gingerbreadcribs #love my players pic.twitter.com/Af47mU7s2S
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
Entry One is a solid effort. Excellent use of Christmas-themed Kit-Kat bars as shrubbery! You can tell it was constructed by more practiced hands.
House number 1. #howlyes pic.twitter.com/0SGAc4kUe2
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
The next three entries are a bit of a mess. Entry Two is the only entry that features a basketball court. And where Entry Three lacks in structural integrity, it makes up for in frosting swirls. We would do well to remember that these guys are student-athletes, not seasoned Christmas architects.
House number 2. #howlyes pic.twitter.com/qPGXldsVeS
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
House number 3. #howlyes pic.twitter.com/16KEOWU9Y3
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
House number 4. #howlyes pic.twitter.com/nwrWAgLMXS
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
Overall, not bad efforts from a squad more adept at "taking it to the house" than building a house. So let's check in on Entry Fi–OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS MONSTROSITY?
House number 5. #howlyes pic.twitter.com/a2wtmHqNpS
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
Perhaps to make up for Entry Five's gruesome shortcomings, Entry Six is a bit more ambitious and seems to include some kind of encrypted message on the roof. (Uncrackable to even the mightiest Underdog cryptologists.)
House number 6. #howlyes pic.twitter.com/ZQYRSVZdIx
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
A great deal of personalization went into Entry Seven. "KB" might be freshman defensive back Kellen Blanchett, who appears to have built a damn fine lean-to over an actual house.
House number 7. #howlyes pic.twitter.com/y2sjUJPf5j
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
The winner, which we can assume was only challenged by Entry Seven, was ultimately Entry One, constructed by sophomore defensive back and punt returner Blaise Taylor.
Astate nation has spoken house number 1 is the winner. Congrats Blaise Taylor. #BuidingAMonster #homehouseadvantage pic.twitter.com/7ordbuEIeJ
— Trooper Taylor (@AstAteTrooper) December 14, 2015
Well done, Blaise. What the Red Wolves gained in dynamic punt returns and lockdown defensive play, the world lost in culinary artistry. As for the rest of the entries, may they all be completely consumed! (By fire.)
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