There's this joke about Hawaii that I heard on The Benny Hill Show. (If you kids are unfamiliar with The Benny Hill Show, take out your iPad and type double u, double, double u dot "Benny" "Hill" dot com in your Google box). It's not a great joke, but you can use it the next time you're rapping about Hawaii with your posse.
Two men are arguing about the pronunciation of Hawaii. Finally, one of the men pulls a stranger aside and asks, "Excuse me? How do you pronounce Hawaii? Is it 'Ha-WHY-ee' or "Ha-VY-ee?'"
The stranger replies, "Ha-VY-ee."
The man says, "Thank you."
The stranger replies, "You're velcome."
Listen, that joke killed on Benny Hill. And if you're ULM making the 4,060 mile flight to Hawaii this week to play the Rainbow Warriors, you're welcome to use that joke again and again. It's just to bad Todd Berry won't be there to laugh. But the way, what kind of program fires their head coach the game before going to Hawaii? A sadistic program, that's who. Keep that in mind, Les Miles, when your caller ID reads "Monroe."
Remember, Sun Belt Heat is calculated using the following sorcery and science:
P5 Condescension x ESPN3 + Righteous Fury / "Any given Saturday" = SUN BELT HEAT
ULM (1-10) vs. Hawaii (2-10), November 28, 10:00 PM CST
Chance For Winning (ESPN FPI): 33.8%
A couple weeks ago, Arkansas State rolled into Monroe and then rolled over the Warhawks 59-21. This prompted UL-Monroe's AD, Brian Wickstrom, to coldly fire head coach Todd Berry (barely two hours after Wickstrom delivered an ESPN3 interview with all the energy of cough syrup.) Then it was revealed Wickstrom was a finalist for the AD position at Tulane! "You're fired, Berry! Also, can I use you as a reference?" That's ballsy! And that's the kind of heat that wins football games in Hawaii! The Warhawks have no head coach, a job-hunting AD, and an athletic budget that's lower than Les Mile's coaching buy-out, but they have moxie. The Warriors, who opened the season by upsetting Colorado, is also without a coach but does employ an athletic director who hinted maybe football isn't for Hawaii. That's, like, the opposite of moxie. Look for the Warhawks to become your next Volcano King this Saturday.
Sun Belt Heat Index: 70% for moxie, minus 5% because we're not sure if Wickstrom is really that into this Warhawk anymore
Adjusted Chance for Winning: 98.8%
#SunBeltHeat vs. Sun Belt Heat
Troy vs. Georgia St., November 27th, 1:00 PM on ESPN3
Louisiana vs. Appalachian St., November 28th, 1:00 PM on ESPN3
South Bama vs. Georgia Southern, November 28th, 1:00 PM on ESPN3
Arkansas St. vs. New Mexico St., November 28th, 3:00 PM on ESPN3
Texas St. vs. Idaho, November 28th, 4:00 PM on ESPN3