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Weakest Of The Week: Two Terrible Teams Enter, One Must Emerge Victorious

Has there been a better worst matchup this season than Texas State VS Lousiana-Monroe?

Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports

The champ is here.

The peoples of Underdog Dynasty, this wonderful website, have spoken and, with a large majority of 100 percent, decided that I shall remain the undisputed peoples champ and overlord of this weak weakly column.

Sorry, mr. esteemed editor. In the end, your valiant effort was nothing but just that: a valiant, but ultimately feeble and doomed, effort. It's okay; you tried. But the peoples of UDD never lie, tiny sample size be damned.

Having emerged unscathed from last weak's WWE, Battle Royale-style game of #badpuns, I decided to go back to the weak 11 post, more specifically its comments, and to layeth the smackdown, like only the best of us know how.


Let's continue with the back and forth and the bonding, folks; a garden doesn't water itself on its own. Even if it's a good zinger at my own expense, I'll tip my proverbial hat.

Turning the football now, this time there appears to be an absolute and clear winner for the weakest of the week for once. Read on to see if you're the depressed fan base that's lucky enough to find someone writing about its team.

Runner-Up Group: Group of Five Versus SEC

Oh, this weak has some folks feeling some type of way. Really. The so-called and self-proclaimed "belly-button of God" conference of college football has already rolled out the justifications for this weak scheduling with a "WELL ACTUALLY!"

Well actually, you suck, SEC, and so does your schedule. Even though you're good, this is a terrible slate of games. Go to hell. Here's what you give your fans this weak:

I mean, with such games, a fan does not need a team to root for. Welcome to the SEC, where they play big boy football.

Weakest Of The Week: ULM Warhawks At Texas State Bobcats

Here we go, the kind of games that we all get up for. (As in, get up from the couch and the nachos to hit the washroom, amirite? HA!)

On the one hand, we have the coach-less ULM Warhawks, an unfortunate group of misfits with a 1-9 record and whose lone win has come against the Nicholls State Colonels. ULM has played Georgia and Alabama, sure, but they were also blown out by Idaho and Troy. Considering how their season has unfolded, their one win should probably count as a loss and, hey, do you know why they're called the Warhawks?

It's ‘cause they're waging a war on the very idea of fielding a competitive football team.

Perhaps it's not a surprise, then, to see that the Texas State Bobcats are favorites by 6.5 points—but that would be knowing entirely too little about these Bobcats. Because TXST is closing the season by making a strong push for a No. 128 in the FBS.

The Bobcats beat South Alabama and something called Prairie View, but just this month they've been outclassed by New Mexico State and Georgia State (and its big, empty stadium). You want to say that the mighty have fallen so far, except that Texas State was never really mighty so it's more like "how the not mighty have fallen even further."

Here, let my esteemed editor explain this game to you:

There is a non-zero chance [ULM] could win this game, which means they might PASS TXST in the SBC standings which would probably make Will's head explode.

It's a game between one terrible team that thinks so little of itself that it may hire Ed Orgeron in ULM against another equally inept that can't fire its head coach because of a wealthy booster in Texas State.

In other words, it's the perfect weak game. Just don't ask my colleague Will Butler (@THETXSTUnivabout it.