Well then, welcome to the new normal.
Worse: myself and my esteemed editor were the two commenters.
There's only one possible conclusion: while I had summoned my readers to change something that they did, the problem resides ithin myself. I was casting the first stones when I should have been the one stoned in plain sight in the first place.
That's just another great lesson that football teaches us—your Weakest of the Week column is not as good as you believe it to be. (Also this one: I am not Jesus. But I'm still working on that one.)
As much as I would like to, I can't find a way to include the UCF Knights' game this weak. With news that the Knights are looking for a new leader (i.e. certainly Houston Nutt, because he must be linked to any coaching vacancy, or one of six other bad candidates), the team may show the fight and resolve that they haven't so far, now that George O'Leary has left.
I want the great experiment in beer consumption to continue as much as the next man, but UCF against a 4-3 Cincinnati isn't weak enough.
Runner-Up Game 1: Florida International Golden Panthers At Florida Atlantic Owls
Well, the Battle of the Florida little leagues is a good place to start. The S&P+ ratings will say that these are the 88th and 90th "best" teams in the FBS; and the F/+ rating, the 89th and 98th teams.
Either way, these are two bad teams but they're not quite terrible. That's why it doesn't rank higher/lower this weak.
Runner-Up Game 1a: Texas-San Antonio Roadrunners At North Texas Mean Green
Because this is Texas and everything is bigger in Texas, this aptly titled (by myself) Battle of Texas pits two weak, no good football teams. (The numbers? S&P+ say UTSA is 105th and North Texas is dead last; F/+ says they're 101st and 127th.)
To the extent that they can be better than anyone, the Roadrunners are quite clearly better than the Mean Green. This means that this game will be the ultimate weak game: both a lopsided match-up and 60 sloppily played minutes of football. #stud
It's also Halloween, so perhaps some of the players could show up disguised as, like, Fredi Knighten, Marcus Cox, Marcus Breida or *insert player who is good at football*?
James Baker (@aspermont8889) 25 Octobre 2015
Weakest Of The Week: Idaho Vandals at New Mexico State Aggies
As a modern poet of our time once said: It was all good just a week ago! Except in this case, I really mean just a day or two ago.
See, a day or two ago the Idaho Vandals were hailed as possible surprise bowl candidates by none other than my esteemed colleague Will Butler. For once, everything was right in Moscow.
But because it's apparently an edict of the law that every- and anything about the Vandals must fall by the wayside, star (last time I use this word to describe him) receiver Dezmon Epps and his 762 yards and two touchdowns went ahead and did something utterly vile and moronic. (Allegedly, sure.)
As I write this, Epps remains a member of Idaho, although an indefinitely suspended one. You'd think that his act would be worthy of a worse punishment, but it's Epps we're talking about. And it's Paul Petrino too, who's already reinstated the receiver once after all.
Presumably, Epps will at least miss this weak game this weak, but maybe it wouldn't have mattered anyway: advanced statistics say New Mexico State has a 54 percent chance of winning. That's 0-7 NMSU!
With all due respect to the fine folks at Football Study Hall who came up with these numbers, the odds that they turn out right are slim: many variables are new. But this series has never been about accuracy.
'Tis better to stand on shaky ground anyway: that's why bridges move duh.