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Weakest Of The Week: Western Kentucky Will Do Mean Things To North Texas

This will get ugly. Very, very, very ugly. For that reason, there are no weaker match-up this week.

Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports

And so it was inscribed in the old scriptures from Princeton/Rutgers 1869, much in the same way that scriptures of a different kind said that God had rested on the seventh day, that the twitters would veer into the personal injuries and insults.

Let's spell it out here for less enlightened folks reading at home: throw a man a rose, he'll counter with a steaming pile of stinking high ground morality. Welp.

On the weak six post, there were only two comments, including one from your very own satirist author, but let's read from the altar of internet user rabbot9.

My wife likes owls And we eat rice. And we live in Florida. That's as close to having an opinion on this game as I can come.

There were only two comments, because why comment on the post itself when the cool thing to do now is to do so on Twitter.

In style and tenor, we've managed to create a nice little community.

Oh, what a glorious week of awesome football. I mean actual, awesome football: there are all types of great games between good/ranked/etc. teams. Look, my pseudo colleagues at Podcast Aint Played Nobody have already gushed all they had to gush (peep the 45-ish-minute mark).

As you know, I'm wired differently: where some see a sorry football team in the 0-6 UCF Knights, I see a team giving its fans the best of both worlds (i.e. free booze and a good reason to drink it) and a potentially bowl eligible Conference USA sleeper.

A weak is not strong as much as it is not as weak. To the football...

Runner-Up Game: Idaho Vandals At Troy Trojans

Welcome to the weakly look at the Troy Trojans game. Seriously, maybe I should pick the Trojans every time? They have somehow escaped my wrath and my wit except for weak three, maybe because the Trojans have performed anonymously: they've lost every game that counts (i.e. sorry, Charleston Southern!), while hanging tough with the one team they should (i.e. South Alabama) and looking overmatched in every other game.

If Troy appears in the column this weak, it's because the team is favoured against the Idaho Vandals. A team that gets outscored by almost 12 points should not be laying down points; it should lay for a quick decapitation.

Sadly, the Idaho Vandals may be just about the saddest executioner in the FBS: they're more likely to bring down the axe and hit their own foot, thereby letting Troy escape. (Despite what advanced stats say, because stats always lie.)

It's fine to have a feather-like team, but no one's ever died from tickling.

Weakest Of  The Week: Western Kentucky Hilltoppers At North Texas Mean Green

Twice in a row, I've picked the wrong game in this space, staying away from the Western Kentucky game on the two weaks that I was slated to write immediate recaps. Well, the Hilltoppers slaughtered the Rice Owls and then [insert your active verb of choice to signify to double as replacement "kill"] the Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders.

Which is to say that twice, WKU ended the game before the end of the first quarter.

I will not be writing the recap on this one, but I will say this is the week's weakest game. And when I think about it more, I realize it makes so much sense and that nopes, there's no other game I'd rather pick. No sir.

This game pits possibly the worst program in the FCS FBS versus the best team of the FBS Group of Five. There will be blood and lots of it. How do I know this will be ugly?

Let's turn to the #hottaker himself for the hottest of fire takes:

Break your piggy bank, sell your plasma, do whatever you can to take Western here. It's going to be a bloodbath.

Look, I know. Things are terrible for the Mean Green right now. You want to say that it will get better because it can't possibly get worse than right now, but the F/+ rankings say that oh no sir, it sure can get worse.

That's you right now, North Texas fans.

This too.

End this now, North Texas fans. Don't hide behind the mean green bushes, why not embrace it? If you're going to be awful, at least be the wrong kind of awful. Being merely terrible is for next year; for 2015, strive to be the best at being the worst.

Because making the wrong kind of history is still making history.