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UAB Task Force States Obvious, Will Shoot for 2016 As Potential Football Return Date

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Why thank you, Captain Obvious.

Mary Ann Chastain/Getty Images

So apparently, after all this backlash, UAB president Ray Watts has decided it would be a good idea to commission a task force, whose job it is to conduct an independent review of the CarrSports report that was the impetus for shutting down the football, bowling and rifle teams effective immediately.

Problems this task force will face:

  • Figuring out who to hire to conduct the independent review
  • Figuring out how to pay whomever they hire to do the review
  • Figuring out how to appear independent in their assessment when they themselves are not
  • Figuring out how to not make foolish statements in the name of having something to say

The good news is, they've got at least even chances of succeeding at the first two things on that list, and quite possibly even the third is within their reach. But they've already screwed the pooch on that last one. That is, given the fact that after their first week of meetings, they have reached their first stunning conclusion: there will probably not be UAB Blazer football in 2015.

Gee, ya think?

O.K. Perhaps this is just a stupidly obvious fact to me because I pay attention to college sports and have better than a 6th grade education. Of course they won't have any damn football next season, outside of perhaps intramurals. Do you have any idea what a logistics nightmare that would be?

Everything crumbled whenever the program was shut down. Your entire coaching staff has found different jobs, so they would all need to be replaced. Almost literally your entire offense would need to be replaced. At minimum about two thirds of your defense would need to be replaced. That is a whole lot of players to try and fill out your roster with and a maximum of probably three months to do it in.

Except that you couldn't do it, because recruits and coaches - good ones - are kind of not available this time of year. They've all already committed their services elsewhere, not that they would really want to come and work for this prime destination with excellent administrative support.

So pardon my French, but no shit Sherlock. I'm so glad this task force is off to a great start by concluding that the impossible is, in fact, impossible. Can't wait to see what their next meeting will reveal - that Legion Field is falling apart?