Louisiana Lafayette - We start out with everyone's favorite to take the title, but if it were based on names, they would only be in the top third or so.
1st place - Octravian Anderson, OL
2nd place - Dalvin Populist, QB Interesting that a populist would only make it to second place on the list...
3rd place(tie - Kevin Fouquier, LB, Chaiziere Malbrue I honestly have no clue how a kid named Chaiziere could wind up tied with anyone for anything, but here he is stuck next to this Fouquier.
Texas State - Boring no more (well, their names, I don't know about their offense). Some real studs here.
1st place - Brixx Hawthorne, S And I bet he hits like a ton of them, too.
2nd place(tie) - Robert Lowe, RB, Karee' Berry It seems patently unfair for a teenage heartthrob (and, perhaps, grownup heart throb) like Rob Lowe to be tied with a guy who has an unnecessary apostrophe, but the voters have spoken.
3rd place - Braizon Fresch, WR So many puns ran through my head, I can't decide if it would be more fun to refer to him as "Turkleton" or some play on the ripeness of his last name.
Honorable mention goes to the not-quite-cool-enough Jafus Gaines and Germod Williams
Troy - Short, sweet and to the point. They aren't deep, but they're strong.
1st place - JaQuadrian Lewis, WR Now that's a strong name, sounds very scientific. I wonder if we're related?
2nd place - Johnathan Boring, OL I'm sure he's anything but. Maybe I'll get to prove it someday!
3rd place - Wayland Coleman-Dancer, LB Nimble on his feet, no doubt - crucial for a player expected to provide some coverage.
South Alabama - Another deep squad, so much so that some of the better names on the team missed out on a ranking.
1st place - Ucambre WIlliams, OL Rather pedestrian last name, but his first just sounds so... cosmopolitan.
2nd place - Qudarius Floyd, WR Here again, we have a split where the back of his jersey shows something common, but oh no, that first name gives him potential.
3rd place - Cameron Broadnax, WR I'm just hoping he's not related to Glenn or James.
Honorable mention goes to Cordivido Grice, Rush Hendricks, and a guy named Margo (Reed)
Georgia Southern - Here is your runaway conference champ in the name category. So much potential, it's not even funny. Well, ok, maybe it is, that's why we're doing this, right?
1st place - Younghoe Koo, K Another kicker in first place! Seriously though, it doesn't get much better than this. "The kick is up and... YOUNGHOE!!!! It's good!"
2nd place - Vegas Harley, S I cannot imaging a name more 'MURRICAN than this one. Named after gambling and motorcycles, natch.
3rd place - Sam O'Babatunde, WR I have to give some love to a guy who could be called "Baba" for short.
Honorable mention goes to the incredible depth provided by Manrey Saint-Amour, Rayquan Sam, and Ezayi Youyoute.
Georgia State - Another squad where there is very limited depth, but the available pronunciations are full of intrigue.
1st place - Lynquez Blair, WR
2nd place - Mackendy Cheridor, LB This one is just fun to say repeatedly. Kept me wide awake last night.
3rd place - Jayro Perez, DL
Honorable mention goes to Maaseiah Francis.
ULM - Wow, the Warhawks are a dangerous squad when it comes to name team bragging rights. One of the best in the conference, without a doubt.
1st place - Centarius Donald, RB I don't know much about him, but he certainly sounds like a very formidable opponent.
2nd place - Harley Scioneaux, TE I am digging the impossibility of his last name. If I get a dollar every time that name gets messed up this year, I might be able to buy a six-pack come bowl season.
3rd place - Lenzy Pipkins, CB This is another one that's just flat-out fun to say. Try it!
Honorable mention to Rob'Donovan Lewis, whose parents couldn't decide on a name and instead just gave him both.
Arkansas State - Not a very deep squad, and the crew didn't even vote for the best names. This one is a puzzler.
1st place - Chuks Ota, DL Only one letter away from having a shoe named after him. Short and sweet, I like it.
2nd place - Carderious Dean, LB
3rd place - Charleston Girley, DB This poor man and his effeminate nom de plume could only manage third place.
Honorable mention goes to Raziel Velgis and... wait, nobody voted for Jonah Hill? Well, I can't blame them. Get Him To The Greek was awful.
Appalachian State - Another roster with minimal depth, but the talent they do have is quite impressive. Way to step up, FCS transfer.
1st place - Olawale Dada, DL Another perfectly alternate name, plus one that wold be fun to say after each sack.
2nd place - Zach Matics, P/K Gee, I wonder what punny nickname the announcers might give him...
3rd place - Bobo Beathard, WR A step down from Booboo Gates, I think, but still strong, and alliterative to boot.
Honorable mention to Bentlee Critcher, who I can only hope rolls out of this joint in style.
Idaho - The trend continues. The Vandals may not win at football, but they definitely win at names.
1st place - QuayShawne Buckley, DE I think the funniest oart is that he isn't even the only Quayshawne Buckley in college football right now.
2nd place - Delency Parham, CB
3rd place - Nick Von Rotz, OL Von Rotz the Vandal is most definitely a WWE villain.
Honorable mention to the delighfully syllabic Tueni Lupeamanu. Let's just call him "Lupe Fiasco" starting now and get the trend going.
New Mexico State - The Aggies may be a bit of a football nomad, but they finish out the Sun Belt Conference with a very strong showing here.
1st place - Valerian Ume-Ezeoke, OL All these syllables, plus he's named after some herbal medicine. I love it.
2nd place - Spence Ueli-Faatoalia, OL Even more syllables! I can only hope these two are starting at the same time at some point in the season.
3rd place - Brock Baca, K I'll leave all the chicken jokes alone for as long as I can. I don't feel like egg-splaining.
Honorable mention goes to Kalei Auelua on the defensive line.
Again, leave your comments for your top three votes, and we'll reveal the overall All-Name Team on Friday!